I walked up to Kae’s desk and got on one knee. “Why are they doing this to me?” I whispered and started getting teary. “I don’t know” she said “but this interview is your chance”. I almost call my recruiter to cancel the interview because I was an emotional mess. But she was right. Even if I failed at least I tried.
I pour cold water on my face to try to get rid of the redness and any evidence that I had been crying. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror telling myself I must go and attempted to restore my confidence.
“We do not have a full time position for you at this time…You are too nice” they said and decided I should video conference a Japanese female colleague in Newport Beach, California to “teach (me) how to be less nice in investment banking”. It had only been seven months at the firm and I had been moved to five different departments. I stepped up each time there was a void and watched those came after me received full time offers. I loved being on the trade floor but someone who can barely operate the system was more worthy than me.
I was rushing back to the office after the interview when I received the call from my recruiter. “You got the job” she said. I printed a copy of the offer letter and went straight to my then boss’ office “I want to thank you for the opportunity” I said “and also to inform you that I have received another offer. I’m giving you my two weeks notice”. “Can I see the offer letter?” she asked. I showed it to her. “Give me a few hours and I will get back to you”. A few hours later, I was backed in her office. “Congratulations” she said “there is a full time position available and we will match everything they offered you”.
I waited months and now suddenly there is a full time position and nothing about petty excuses why I wasn’t good enough. I would have taken the offer for less. I decided to go with the new firm. That was four years ago. “You would have still been doing the same thing had you stayed” said Kae as we reflected on the past.
A friendly reminder: never know unless you try…😊
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