To Rise, to Fall, to Rise Again

“What is your dream?” She asked. “Well, this is it. I am living my dream” I answered and perhaps beyond what I imagined many years ago or even a few months ago. 

I never took the traditional route because I did not have the means to do so and that path I believed belong to those who fit the mold. I have always been an outsider and an underdog. Just last year, he asked “are you the silver spooned or the scrapper?” I said “I’m the vulture and I’m hungry” as I took a bite of a burger. But I always kept my integrity. We talked about achievements. He said “if my young self could see what I have achieved today, I would be high fiving everyone”. “I would do the same” I said.

That role I never applied for gave me an opportunity to this day I’m grateful. “Be careful” he warned. But all I could do is the best I can given the circumstances. 

Perhaps he meant well when he advised that I should stop chasing my dreams. Nevertheless, it got to me. “That twinkle in your eyes” he said to leverage it and “be a hostess or a bartender” instead. “I don’t even drink alcohol” I responded. And few weeks later, it was my version of judgement day upon me and another him.

I remembered that cab ride back to the office. I was telling her about my biggest fear in life. “Failure and hitting rock bottom” I said. It was abstract then given the paths I choose to play safe in life. I am aware of my blueprint, foundation, infrastructure, and what it takes to become. And your constant reminder of the paths you all took and mine. “Event planner is a great career” she said.

Months later, I thought for a moment I failed and that was my rock bottom. I had lost the role I never applied for without warning. “I’m going back to where I belong” I said feeling completely defeated. “No more crying.  Tough girl from Chinatown don’t cry” he tried to comfort me.

He said “(I) just opened the door and you jump through”. I received my first paycheck from my new role on my birthday. It was the best present I thought to myself. And I’m grateful for him who gave me a chance when another said I’m not qualified; and for him who said I deserved it more than others; and for him to take me in and gave me a real shot. For every stage they believed in me and got me here. This moment, living the dream.